Why sex is a creative process.

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You, as a sexual being, are creative. You are creating and playing when you explore who you are as a sexual person. You may adorn yourself in lace, in body art, or in fantasy in the bedroom. You may choose to express your sexual self when you walk in the world as well: as flirtatious, as secretive, as erotically complicated. The way you whisper to your partner, the way you shadow your eyes, the way you dance—these are all expressions. You are expressing yourself just by being you, a carnal creature, completely unique.

Your desire is creative. Your body touched in a certain way. A part of you adored. A fantasy fulfilled—when you listen to your desires, you are listening to your imagination. You are holding a paintbrush to the canvas of your experiences and letting your inner creative run free, whether in collaboration with another or simply in your own fantasy. You are not creating because it’s logical or because it achieves a goal; you are creating because it’s what you crave. Because though it may not make sense, to ignore it seems to make even less sense.

The dance is creative. It’s where you bring your being and your desires to tango. To collaborate. To swirl with those of someone you love or like or just feel like creating with. You get to learn how to express yourself sexually, appreciate another’s expressions, and harmonize your unique rhythms to create a song unlike any other. This song includes attunement and compromise, which is all part of this beautiful process.

Your purpose is creative. Whether you are expressing your love or expressing your desire, you are expressing. If you are painting a memory or if you are conceiving a child, you are creating. Alone or with a partner, in your mind or in your body, when you awaken your sexual self, you are dancing. You are listening to yourself and to the world, and you are writing the story of what you hear.

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Rachael Uris, MA, LPC is the owner of Atacama Counseling, LLC, offering sex therapy as well as individual and couple's counseling for issues surrounding sexuality, love, and pregnancy. All services are located in downtown Boulder, Colorado, and are provided in English and Spanish.
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